If You Give a Toddler a Tiara...

Saturday we watched 4 straight hours of Toddlers & Tiaras. I am not even embarrassed to admit it because I promise once you start, you can't tear your eyes away from the trainwreck. It is shocking and disturbing and...okay so maybe I am a little embarrassed, but man is it entertaining. I mean, giving your three-year-old a Red Bull, waxing her eye-brows, giving her a spray on tan, making her wear a "flipper" (fake teeth so she has perfect grown-up looking teeth), and dressing her in a $1,500 dress that I think looks like a miniature version of a slutty Halloween costume- all normal right? Hair extensions, makeup, fake eyelashes, teeny-tiny bikinis, appropriate for a toddler? Mothers talking about how much she loves dressing up her little girl and putting her in pageants because it is like having her own real-life doll...normal? You will see a three-year-old saying things like "I'm going to win that tiara, it's mine! I will steal it!" And "I am a diva", and a five year old dancing to Michael Jackson grabbing her crotch. There is such a disconnect watching girls anywhere from 2 years old and up looking like girls in their twenties, then hearing them talk. I have to remind myself, oh yeah-they are toddlers. I have a hard time seeing what, if any, life skills or character building these girls gain from participating in the contests. With awards given such as "most beautiful", "prettiest eyes", "prettiest hair", etc. how do you explain to a three-year-old or even a six-year-old that she lost because she isn't the prettiest of the bunch? With the main goal to beat out their competitors through looks, what they do gain from the experience is that self-worth is based on a superficial attributes and their ability to win competitions based on those. While you could argue that self-esteem is attained through the experience, couldn't that also be achieved through an activity in which they also learn additional skills or lessons such as team building, how to be a graceful loser, etc.? I am curious what kind of effect these competitions have on girls longterm, I would love to see a documentary that follows these girls over the course of years. So my take is that it is entertaining television, but the world of child beauty pageants is a weird one!

If you give a mouse a cookie, he's going to ask for a glass of milk. When you give him the milk, he'll probably ask you for a straw. When he's finished, he'll ask for a napkin. Then he'll want to look in the mirror to make sure he doesn't have a milk mustache...

If you give a toddler a tiara, she's going to want another. If she wants another, she's going to need a spray-tan & eyebrow wax & hair extensions. After all the primping, she'll need a Red Bull to stay awake. After the Red Bull, she's going to prance and dance around on the stage. After losing to the "prettier" toddlers, she's going to need a nap...because she is THREE.